It’s this elusive thing that we all seem to be striving for, believing that once we’ve achieved it we will find the satisfaction in life that we’re longing for.
We’ve been talking about balance for a long time now, and the conversation has evolved quite a bit. I think we’ve moved past the idea that there’s a magic solution allowing us to do all the things and do them well. I think that for the most part people get that life isn’t going to work that way.
Instead, the conversation has shifted to having a more integrated life vs. a balanced one. That sometimes the necessities of work will take over, but we make up for that by giving more focused time to our families once the busy work season passes. That’s just one example of many.
I do believe that is a healthier way, and probably the right way, to approach the subject. However, I think there is an important part of the conversation that is missing.
We will never find balance if we’re choosing to spend our time and resources in the wrong places.
We can run around all day giving and taking from certain areas of our life, making sure that we integrate all parts of our life and not let “busy seasons” go on to long. But what if some of the things we’re giving ourselves to are not in line with the purpose God has for our lives.
You see, we have bought into the cultural lie that it’s possible to do it all, and because it’s possible we should all be able to figure out how to make that happen.
Why do we buy into this lie?
Because we want our lives to be significant.
We want to be considered a success, and success must mean that we do ALL THE THINGS. We raise kids who love Jesus, we have a successful career, we maintain the home, we volunteer in the community and serve our church, we find time for self-care, and in the midst of that we must remember to share the very best highlights on Instagram.
Balance happens when we know what’s best, and we make the decision to do that.
But why is that such a difficult thing to do?
I think we are scared to say no because it will open the door to our weaknesses. We want people to think we’re capable of it all, and to say no would be admitting that we’re not.
But friends, if we don’t learn to say no, to recognize the most important things and do them, we will miss our opportunities for significance and impact. The opportunity for significance the way God defines it, and I promise there’s nothing better. Our lives will reflect a person who did a lot, maybe a lot of good things, but a person who missed a lot of the most important things.
Let’s change the conversation about balance. Let’s give each other the permission to say no to things, and let’s help each other figure out what the best things are.