Do you ever find it nearly impossible to be present in what’s actually happening today? Maybe you’re there, doing your normal things, but your heart and your mind aren’t. They continue to trail off thinking about whatever it is that you’re waiting for.
I find myself there right now. I’m so ready for the next season. I’m ready for the adoption process to be over, and our baby be home with us.
I’m surprised by how often I feel frustrated with God. I know He has called us here, to adoption, so why does it have to be so tough? Why does He continue to put possible opportunities in front of us only to take them away?
He keeps saying yes, but not yet. Not today.
Today he has something different for me to do. He has me at the office planning our next event, he has me serving at church, or investing in friendships. Sometimes He fills my days with things that honestly, I don’t want to do. But I know it’s not an accident. I know these things are on purpose. So, if I believe that, then I have a choice to make.
Will I wallow in the not yet, or will I embrace the reality of today?
I choose today.
As much as my heart aches for the next thing, I know I don’t want to miss what He has in store for me today. I want to fully embrace His blessings, to be obedient in today’s assignments, to learn whatever it is that He’s trying to teach me.
That doesn’t come easy or naturally. It’s a decision that I have to make moment by moment when my longing for tomorrow tries to steal the joy of today.
I had a mentor ask me recently if I was being honest with God about how I was feeling. My first instinct was to say, “yes, of course.” After processing that question some more I realized that the truth is that no, I’m not being completely honest. My prayers are filled with words that I think I’m “supposed” to say instead of what my heart is really feeling. She reminded me that God can handle any of my feelings, and that it’s in the honesty that healing happens.
So, even though I feel sad at times, or I’m simply sick of waiting, I will choose today. Every time I’m tempted to let my joy and contentment be stolen I give it back to God. It’s in the breath prayers of my day that I tell God what I’m feeling, but that I desperately want to be present. I admit that I can’t do this on my own and I need His help. And you know what? He gives it to me. He is faithful to give me the grace I need to keep going, to keep doing the next right thing, all the while remembering that He has a purpose and plan for me in this season and the next.
Do you find yourself in a similar situation today? Maybe you’re a college student ready to be in the “real world” with a “real job”. Maybe you’re a mom of littles just waiting for them to start school. Or maybe you’re facing something so tough and scary, and all you want is to just be on the other side.
Well friends, wherever you find yourself today, don’t give in to the pull of the next thing. Fully embrace today. Be completely honest with God, ask Him for help, and then look for Him to show up.
I promise He will show up.