We’re all running around frantic and crazy, searching for meaning and purpose, all while complaining that our lives are out of balance. Because our lives are all out of balance people are now running around shouting about balance. While this conversation is an important one to have, I’m afraid that it’s feeding this idea that women can, and should, have it all. When we believe that we can have it all, we’re essentially telling ourselves we have to do it all.
So now we’re all running around frantic, believing that we can balance all this crazy. We are believing that we can have it all, do it all, and be it all to everyone in our lives. The myth about balance is that it can be achieved while still doing all the things.
And you know what…I think all of this running is breaking God’s heart.
What He wants is for us to just be still and listen. To simply stop moving, stop doing, and sit. Be still with Him and give ourselves an opportunity to actually hear His still, small voice. When we do, I think we’ll hear quite a different message than the one we’ve let ourselves believe.
I think we need to change this conversation on balance to one that brings Him more honor. Not honor to ourselves because we somehow figured out the magic balance formula that allowed us to do it all.
We need to change the conversation from how can we have it all, to how can we let go of it all. We need to stop chasing this balance perfection and find a new kind of balance. The kind that comes from learning to say no. Say no to other people’s expectations, say no to the good but not great, say no to the unrealistic expectations we put on ourselves.
Say yes to the things God is calling us to.
The only way we can truly find balance in our lives is when we are in sync with our creator and living out His purposes and plans. This doesn’t mean that there will never be tension between the things He’s called us to. Tension between time with family, time with work, time with ministry etc., but when we’re listening to the voice of God He will help us work through those tensions. When we’re frantically balancing thing after thing after thing, well, we’re not in the midst of His will and we’re trying to control it all ourselves.
So really, we just need to say no more often. We need to be intentional about understanding God’s call on our lives and then run hard in that direction. Let’s stop wasting time on the good for the sake of the great.
Here are some ideas I have for learning to say no:
Pray and journal before making decisions and saying yes. This helps us develop the discipline of stopping before we answer, and it definitely helps us hear from God. Spend time in quiet prayer and write down any impressions you feel on your heart during that time.
Identify a core group of people that you trust and go to them when making decisions about how to invest your time and energy. They should be people who are walking with the Lord and willing to ask you hard questions.
Remember who you are and whose you are. Your identity rests in Christ alone, not in the opinions of other people. In order to have a truly flourishing and significant life we have to stop worrying about what other people will think if we say no. I could easily write an entire post on that…
Friends, I hope this encourages you to stop and think about all of the things you say yes to. Is there something you need to let go of? It will most likely be hard to say no, but I promise, the reward for living in the middle of God’s will for us is so much sweeter.
Linking up with Kelly Balarie at Purposeful Faith!