Rather than give a simple update on where we are in the adoption process, I want to share something important that God has been teaching me through it. That’s part of the process, right? God using tough stuff to refine us and make us more like him.
A few weeks ago we had our first and second potential matches. Both within a few days of each other. The first was a potential birth mom in Louisiana, and the second was a baby that had already been born and was at a local hospital.
In both instances we simply never heard back, and our hearts broke a little with each passing day. I think the sadness we felt surprised us both. We knew we were ready to make this happen, but neither of us realized how deeply we wanted it. We spent the next few days processing what happened and grieving in our individual ways. I processed it externally with Andrew as I typically do, but I didn’t really want to talk to anyone else about it. It felt easier to keep it to myself than expose the emotions I was feeling. In fact, it’s still really difficult to write these words knowing they’ll be published for anyone to read. It’s vulnerable…but I’m doing it anyway.
The Sunday after this happened I was standing in the back as Andrew started the service. It began as it always does, but a few songs in Andrew starts talking about what had happened that week. He tells the WHOLE congregation! My eyes immediately fill up and I literally thought I was going to die right there. The words he was sharing were beautiful, and I was so proud of him. Yet at the same time I wanted to punch him in the face. How dare he share our mess with so many people. How dare he not tell me he was going to do it.
During the service, and a few tears later, I decided I didn’t want to be mad at him. In fact, I really loved what he said. However, I was going to get out of that room so fast when the service was over. I most definitely didn’t want to talk to anyone about it.
But when the service ended the coolest thing started to happen. People loved on us. They shared their own adoption journey, or simply let us know they’re praying for us. People we hardly even knew were brought into our story. Andrew’s obedience to be vulnerable gave others the opportunity to be a blessing. It gave them a chance to share their story and reflect on how God worked in their own lives. In fact, almost every time I go to the grocery store by our house now I see someone from church who knows our story and offers encouragement. They want an update or they simply want us to know that they’re praying. It’s really the best.
I learned something important about community that day. It’s not always fun and it’s usually messy, but it’s absolutely necessary. When we let people in we give God space to move. We give him the opportunity reveal himself and to love on us. He’s used our community to remind of His perfect plan and timing, to remind us that He did in fact call us to this…that’s easy to forget when things get hard. He uses community to keep pushing us down the road and give us the motivation we need to keep fighting.
So friends, whatever it is that you’re going through right now, share it with your community. Be willing to get messy with people. It’s in the mess that we see God’s heart.
We have finished our home study and now we’re really just waiting. Please pray for us during this time of waiting. That we would cherish this time, but also that we wouldn’t go absolutely crazy ha! Pray for our birth mother, whoever she is, that she would feel loved and come to know God better in the process. And that we would meet her soon!